Rabbit Hole Day: 2009

Celebrate with us…

Rabbit Hole Day 2009 Presents
A Day, Er, Night in the Life of a Vampire

By Rob Kaas

The nights are cold. Dark, too. The stars are so beautiful, though. Shame you can’t see them clearer anymore. I remember a time before smog, before air pollution, before anyone knew what an O-Zone was. Man, the stars you could see. The sky was flooded with them, tiny little pin holes of blinding light piercing through a blanket of the deepest black.

I miss those nights.

Right about now, you’re probably wondering why I’m boring you with talk of the weather. Well, after a couple hundred years, you sort of run out of interesting topics.

Night after night, I walk the streets. I used to go to night clubs, back when they first became popular, but I can’t stand those places anymore. Too many people pretending to be something they’re not. When you get to be my age, it becomes so easy to see through the facade people put up. People’s defenses are such fragile things when you can see right through them. Me? I have no qualms with who or what I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bad guy. No one looks at the lion as evil, just because it eats a few gazelles.

Bars are no good, they don’t serve my drink of choice. So I walk. A lot of walking. It keeps my legs toned, so that’s a plus. So long as I’m somewhere sheltered when the sun comes up, I can and have walked just about anywhere. And by sheltered, I don’t mean coffin-ready.

Let’s go down a list of stereotypes, shall we?

1: Coffins. Complete bullshit, I don’t sleep in a coffin. I sleep in a bed, wrapped in a comforter bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond (it’s soft and it was on sale, shut up).

2: Sunlight. Yes, it kills me. I go poof and what little is left blows away in the wind. The movies are pretty acurate in that regard. Except that new one, with the crappy actors. Sunlight does not make me sparkle like fucking diamonds, it makes me die like a fucking corpse.

3: Garlic. I love the stuff. I could eat whole cloves of it. Oh, that’s another thing, I’m able to eat food. Like, person food. It doesn’t sustain me, though, hence the bite-n-suck bit.

4: Wooden stakes. Would a wooden stake through the heart kill me? Here’s a question for you: What wouldn’t a wooden stake through the heart kill?

5: Bats. I can’t change into a bat. I can’t change into anything, actually. More stupid movie bullshit.

My day is pretty simple. Well, my day is very simple; I sleep. But my night is far more eventful. I wake up around dusk, I brush my teeth (yes, really), I get dressed and I go for my nightly walk. I don’t feed every night. I’m tempted, you people smell so good, especially when you’ve been dancing (back to the night club bit), I don’t know, something about your heart rates going up and the blood flowing faster… It’s intoxicating, it really is.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

When I do feed, which is only when I must, I try to choose people who deserve it. I know that sounds cruel, who am I to judge a person that way? Who am I to sentence someone to death? Well, when you come across an drunk bastard who man handles his women, or a pervert who teaches kids by day and touches them by night, or a monster who preys on women, not by drinking their blood, but by raping them… You’d be surprised how easy it is to judge.

On the nights I feed, I tend to turn in early. It takes a lot more out of me than you might think. But I spend the nights I don’t feed looking up at the stars, watching people move around, reading. Oh, the reading. I wish libraries were open all night.

I love watching people. I go where they meet for drinks, where they court each other, where they share important moments. I love that stuff. It’s so interesting to watch people being themselves, rather than pretending to be richer or more powerful than they really are. People tend to like coffee shops, but those places are full of fakes. It seems the places where people are most comfortable around each other, where they’re the most real, are diners.

You go to an all night diner, you see plenty of interesting shit, if you keep your eyes open. You get whores and pimps, you get junkies and pot heads, but occasionally, if you pay very close attention, you get real people. I see the bad side of humanity every single night, but the good side… That’s what makes me happy. Seeing a couple on their first date, drinking chocolate malts and splitting an order of french fries, the passion in their eyes, the admiration, it gives a guy hope for the human race. Which isn’t a simple feat for someone who has seen over two hundred years of dissolution and pain.

After a few hours of watching people come and go, I start my walk home. I close the door, draw the shades, and sleep until dusk. Such is my life. I used to be so angry, I used to hate the hand fate had dealt me, and I would take that anger out on people. After a few decades, I sort of came to terms with it. Unless I wanted to take a stroll in the sunlight, nothing was going to kill me. I was stuck in this constant circle of life and death.

Anyway, dawn’s close, I better be going. It was good talking to someone breathing for a change. If you weren’t such a good listener, you may have been dead by now.

Remember, next time you’re at a diner in the middle of the night, keep an eye out for the guy in the corner. Chances are, he’s keeping his eye on you.

Published by Rob Kaas

Biographical information? I was born 37 years ago. I've lived a little here and there since then. I do not look forward to death. Biographical enough for you?

2 thoughts on “Rabbit Hole Day: 2009

    1. Care to explain why this post is bullshit? Should I just go to Google and type in “robkaas.wordpress.com + why + bullshit”?

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