People Who Drink Scotch Read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

And women who are constipated read Nicholas Sparks.

It will all become clear in a moment, I promise.

This will be a brief post, as I’m doing some writing elsewhere. I’m jumping between three separate projects, adding a little to each one before moving on to the next in a great big circle of creativity, while a warm cat sleeps on my right foot and I drink chocolate milk from a mug shaped like Santa Claus. So far, it’s a good morning.

The people over at FilmDrunk have posted a video of Quentin Tarantino listing his top eight films of 2009 (so far). The comments section ranges from jokes about the overweight star of the film Precious to Quentin’s rumored drug usage.

Here’s the video, in case you don’t feel like clicking over:

To explain both the title of this post and the comment below it, I present Readers by Author, which offers stereotypes of people based on whom they list as their favorite author. Brilliant, really. Very funny.

Since a few of my own favorite authors are listed there, I’ll post them here:

J.K. Rowling

Smart geeks.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

People who can start a fire.

William Shakespeare

People who like bondage.

Mark Twain


Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

People who drink scotch.

Edgar Allan Poe

Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.

Hunter S Thompson

That kid in your philosophy class with the stupid tattoo.

So from this, we are to assume that I am a smart, scotch drinking, fire starting, stupid tattoo having liar who likes bondage and may or may not live in his mother’s basement. Which is completely ridiculous.

I’ve never lived in my mother’s basement.

There are also a few other favorites on the list (Dawkins, Koontz, King, Bradbury, Chabon, Adams, Grimm, Lovecraft, etc.), but if I were to list all of them, I would be making a list of my own. Which is why anyone who asks of me the question “Who is your favorite author?” will regret doing so. Though they won’t regret doing so until five hours later, when I’ve finally finished listing all of my favorites and explaining why I cannot simply narrow it down to one name.

Right. To writing, then to breakfast (lunch?), then perhaps to a nap.

I’m enjoying today so far.

Published by Rob Kaas

Biographical information? I was born 37 years ago. I've lived a little here and there since then. I do not look forward to death. Biographical enough for you?

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