So, 2020 huh?

What a fucking year. So far. So far!

Aside from the general worldwide chaos of civil unrest and a pandemic both taking place during an election year in the US, I have had a trying time personally.

While cleaning my kitchen, one fateful night in April, I slipped on some folded boxes and ended up injuring my back. The pain was excruciating and was only getting worse, so it was an ER visit for me.

After a number of x-rays and some very lovely pain killers, the doctor entered the room.

“You have a comminuted fracture of the L2 vertebrae.” He said, “Do you know what comminuted means?”

“I do not.” I answered. I was fairly drugged up by then and was uncertain of most things.

“Well, it’s what happened to Humpty Dumpty.” The doctor said. Great. A doctor who moonlights as a comedian. Perhaps the other way round?

What followed were physically the most challenging months of my life. Stuck in a recliner, unable to climb the stairs to bed, it was obvious I couldn’t work either. All without surgery, thankfully.

Between numerous doctor appointments, changing my pain meds, and going in for scan after scan, it was a slow recovery. I am still not a hundred percent. Returning to work, two hour shifts, three days a week, has been an uphill climb, but a rewarding one. It’s nice to see the faces of regular customers light up when they see me behind the counter the again, nice to be greeted by coworkers who say they’ve missed me.

I still have a long way to go, but I would not be as far along as I am without the love and support of some truly wonderful friends and family. We were helped financially, we were gifted a bunch of groceries by an anonymous savior, and regular contact with loved ones has all really helped pull me out of a very dark place and I can’t thank everyone enough.

I’ve spent much of this year working on myself. I’m trying very hard to become a better person, both physically and emotionally, to feel as though I actually deserve the love and support I’ve received these few months.

I have started to lose weight, be more active and eat much healthier than I ever have before, I’ve begun meditating and taking initiative to stay as positive as possible. It’s a rocky ride, lots of ups and downs. I’ve gone over my calorie budget more than once, I’ve opted not to walk around the neighborhood (another change I’ve made recently, in conjunction with my physical therapy) simply because I was too tired. Staying positive is not an easy feat when one is still in pain on a daily basis.

But I soldier on, every day is a new beginning and a new chance to fix my bad habits and hopefully replace them with good ones.

Another way I’m looking forward is by finally buying the domain RobKaas.Com

Right now, it’s just a home to this blog, some videos I’ve made (both from YouTube and Byte), and a few photos. Eventually it will turn into something else, but for now, that is what it is. I’m not very good at the whole website thing, but I am proud of what I have so far.

It’s currently almost two in the morning and I’m very tired and in quite a bit of pain from work, but I am eager to greet the day and see what’s in store.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for being you.

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