Much happened on the day of the winter solstice in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty. We witnessed the great conjunction of planets on the cosmic stage, a sight not seen in 800 years. And on the infinitely smaller stage of the scenery outside my window, the wind blew so harshly that all the swings were sideways, as were the trees, and as were the traffic signs, and as were all the garbage cans as well. A very busy day all around.
There have been too many funerals of late. I have become far too familiar with the sight of the local hearse in the past few weeks for my liking. Grim tidings, signs of the time.
So desperately have I grasped to love this year, especially this year in fact, and so generously have I been rewarded in such, that it makes this holiday season bittersweet at best. We miss our loved ones, both those beyond our state borders and those beyond the veil of life, and deep down we wonder if holidays will ever be the same again. Will this time of year return to familiarity and tradition of a sense of normalcy? If so, when? Next year? The year after? The fear of the unknown sets in quick when family becomes the subject at hand.
The holidays are hard for us all. After the stress and turmoil of this of all years passing by so slowly, barely at a crawl, it’s both nice to feel the warmth of the season through the limited interaction with loved ones, and pained by how fleeting our time feels. For as slowly as 2020 has dragged itself across the landscape of our lives, all the quicker this pleasant season of love and camaraderie seems to pass us by.
As dire in so many ways that this year has been, in a general sense, it has been transformative in a more personal sense. I will never forget the outpouring of love and support from friends and family, old and new, that I have received. Both emotional and financial, I have been lifted up by the people in my life who love me and have very clearly shown it. Through my back injury and subsequent hardships, through my ongoing battle with my own inner demons, to striving to maintain a feeling of connection via video chats and text chains, my rock solid circle of friends have really become a family this year.
Words can not express my gratitude to everyone who has cemented themselves as, I stress this again, my family.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you all. You have truly saved my life in so many, some literal, ways.
Happy holidays. I love you all.